The components of my life spill over and overwhelm each other like too much gravy on a Thanksgiving Day plate. It would be nice to compartmentalize each area of my life: work things could be focused on at work; home things could be catered to at home. This is never the case for me. I’m a parent. I’m a partner. I teach. I write. I help my daughter manage diabetes. I’m a professional. I’m an emotional wreck. I maintain a positive attitude. I have bouts of despair. I handle things calmly and rationally. I freak out and overreact. This is me and all of me. And I know that my situation is not rare. Many of us wear multiple hats and most days find a way to graciously balance it all, but on some days, we watch it all fall down around us, only to pick ourselves up, shake the particles of plaster out of our hair, and start again the next day. My mission is to create a place for those who assume multiple roles to unapologetically be everything that they are without having to repress or hold back any of these roles. We have to do that too often as it is. We should have a place where it can all spill out in one complicated, jumbled mess.
I have spent a lot of time trying to become the version of myself that I want to be: a person who is eternally optimistic and focused on the important things in life, a patient parent and wife who is able to devote unyielding attention to my loved ones, a teacher who never tires or becomes deflated, and a writer who perseveres regardless of rejection. The truth of the matter is that I’ve done a lot of waiting for my ideal self to emerge before I begin fully living. I keep waiting for a moment to write when I have it all figured out, and I’m tired of waiting for the perfect moment to begin. So today is the day that I start giving myself permission to live and to write about it in all of its complicated beauty and imperfection.